Lessons I Would Teach My Daughter

Working in Korea has given me the opportunity to get to know my students quite well and to see them grow up in front of my eyes. Particularly, the young women who I teach and mentor. I hear their fears, their concerns, their failures and their triumphs and we share all of these things on a daily basis. I care for these girls as if they are my own, which got me thinking. Our conversations are not always simple. Sometimes we discuss K-Pop, but quite often the conversation drifts to peer pressure, feminism, sex, sexuality, plastic surgery and all types of ideals I never knew I would be discussing as an English teacher. So many of the values/things I know to be true, came from my own mother and her patience, kindness and desire to make me, not a perfect human being, but the best human being I could be. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized how much she shaped my view of myself and the world. My co-teacher asked me one day "If I had a daughter what would I want her to know by the time she was a woman" so I started a list. Thanks mom for the inspiration!

1. Don't feel obligated to be "feminine," but don't be afraid to embrace your femininity (whatever that means to you)

2. Support other women! Being female can feel like a competition, but life is so much easier/more pleasant when women really look out for each other.

3. Pay for yourself sometimes. Don't always expect your date to do so.You want to be equals, try to do things fairly.

4. Favor humanism over feminism or any other ism that says one group is inherently inferior or superior.

5. Spend some time being single and really getting to know yourself. Take yourself on dates.

6. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about who you are and do things that make you feel beautiful, powerful and intelligent on a regular basis.

7. If you have to work hard to keep the man/woman you are with, you are probably not with the right one.

8. Know how to defend yourself. Not because it is your fault if you are attacked, but because it is a basic right every human has and everyone deserves to feel safe.

9. Make-Up (less is more). That being said, don't feel bad about wearing it.

10. Nothing wrong with pampering yourself every once and a while.

11. No shame in being strong.

12. Your body is your business and others opinions of it, have nothing to do with you. Nor does their opinion matter.

13. Your worth as a human being is not determined by the way you look or what is between your legs, but rather how you treat yourself and others.

14. Just because you are female, doesn't mean you have the right to hit men or anyone for that matter.

15. Heels can be your best friend or your worst enemy...but if you can't walk in them...that's a no go, sister!

16. You have just as much right to be a sexual human being as men do.

17. That being said, respect yourself sexually and demand that same respect from the people you are intimate with.

18. Try a team sport...even if you aren't crazy about it, it will teach you so much about yourself, your loyalties and how to work together.

19. Your highest aspiration in life doesn't have to be a relationship or marriage. There's nothing wrong with these things and whoever you end up with should be your equal and compliment you just as well as you do them, but it is important to have all types of dreams.

20. Love yourself fiercely, more than you think you deserve and more than you know how!

My amazing mother <3

Maggie Moo Does...Jiu Jitsu?

On September 5th, 2013 I made one of the best decisions I have ever made. I decided to try Jiu Jitsu. I know! I can hardly believe it myself. My whole life I have been surrounded by people who say "I can't believe you don't do any martial arts" or "you should try Jiu Jitsu," my father included. It wasn't until a team mate of mine (who had been pestering me for months to try it) used a little reverse psychology and told me "yeah you might not be right for it anyway." And there I was.

My first class was terrifying and exciting, a bit like rolling with my brother as a kid, but less swearing, more focused and restrained and no crying this time. I felt so out of my element. I was used to rugby where I knew exactly what to do. I understood my body and how it worked. I could crash, pass, kick and catch like it was second nature but being aware of all of my limbs and what they were doing as well as my training partner was quite the challenge. "You mean I have to know what my upper half and lower half are doing at the same time?" The struggle was real. Quite early on I was injured and questioned whether I even wanted to continue. Playing rugby, I am no stranger to injuries, but the idea of participating in a sport where people actively try to submit you, causing enough pain to injure you was really nerve wrecking for me. My father promptly reminded me that he hadn't raised a quitter and the higher belts around me, who had been in these same situations before encouraged me to continue. I am so glad that I did.

My first class: The struggle was real....

Just recently I discovered my first (for lack of a better term) asshole on the mat. A person who was way more concerned about looking cool and not being embarrassed by a girl than actually progressing as an athlete. I was able to keep calm and put myself in a place where I didn't feel that I was in any type of danger. This was a huge deal for me. It made me realize that the majority of people I train with are just so ridiculously positive, supportive and genuinely concerned about me, not only as a training partner, but as a person. I never thought I would have the same level of trust or enjoyment with another team, that I experience with my own rugby team. It's refreshing.

Jiu Jitsu has definitely given me much more in the short time I have been training than I ever imagined:

1. Solid training partners and supportive folks who help me progress on my journey.

2. Excellent instructors, particularly, Kris Kim, who is a talented as he is kind and patient.

3. More faith in myself

4. A sense of accomplishment when I finally stick a move I have been working on for weeks.

5. A challenge of trying a sport I am not inherently good at. Rugby has always come rather easy to me and regardless I worked my butt off, but Jiu Jitsu isn't natural for me in the slightest. It takes me longer to learn moves, I forget easily and often can't remember everything I've just learned...which leads me to..

6. Patience with myself.

7. Excellent training for the off season.

8. A constant desire to be better.

9. Proving to myself that I am capable of doing the things that terrify me.

10. Confidence that I can keep myself safe and the feeling that I am in control.

Just recently I took my first Jiu- Jitsu- Cation to Guam where I was able to train at 3 different gyms. In each gym, I discovered the spirit of Jiu Jitsu was so much greater than many other sports I've been involved in. I was never made to feel like an outsider or as if there was an "us" and "them." I was welcomed with open arms and had some of the most successful training sessions to date!

Training with Stephen Roberto at Purebred. Too bad I clearly missed the "Belt Tying" tutorial! Haha

Spike 22 Outdoor Gym

Training at Figo in Guam

In February I will be heading to Madison & Dubai to train and I genuinely cannot wait. I think I may have found something I love just as much as rugby and more importantly, something that constantly challenges me to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be. Interested in BJJ in Seoul? Here are a few links!

Korea Jiu Jitsu Facebook Group
Kris Kim BJJ

Madiba, My Single Greatest Teacher

I knew of Nelson Mandela’s greatness, years before a rugby ball ever touched my hands. I don’t have many memories of my youth, but I remember the day Nelson Mandela got out of prison (at least I think I do). I was 3. Years later, I spoke to my dad about how someone could go from being a prisoner to a president and he told me “anything is possible if you have the right heart.” Mandela became less of a symbol or icon and more of a role model for me, in terms of the things a person could achieve once they overcame adversity. As a kid (and even into adulthood), I worshipped him. My first ever public school speech was a tribute to him. While other kids had written about Masters of the Universe and Animaniacs I was busy trying to emulate the way he spoke, carried himself and trying to understand the profound wisdom of this man who had lived so much more than I could ever hope to.

"Madiba is what they call him," my father said, a name of the tribe to which Mandela belonged, and one that was often attributed to a quick mind but a sensitive nature. Madiba, a name which struck me and stuck with me years later, to the point where it was given to me as nickname by a rugby team; for the speeches I used to make prior to the matches. I watched his interview with Ted Koppel and saw someone who was more than a man. The way he handled himself with grace, care, tact and what seemed to be a genuine concern for every living thing and human was beyond inspiring. I dreamt of being even one sixteenth of the person he was and I prayed to have half the backbone and spirit of that great man.

Later when I began to play rugby, I discovered the impact the sport had made on South Africa and the way it was able to unite people. I had never seen a more perfect game. The 1995 World Cup, to this day, is one of the single greatest events I have ever lived through, even if it took me years to appreciate the impact that it truly had.  Mandela said “"Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire, it has the power to unite people in a way that little else does.” I had no idea how right he was. When he put on a Springboks jersey and entered Ellis Park he was doing more than supporting another sports team. He was making the profound statement that this was not a team to only be associated with White Afrikaans, but rather a rainbow nation. None of it was based on political gain or the strategic politics of how to increase his rating, but rather his genuine love for uniting people who had once been seen as enemies, as well as his appreciation for the sport they play in heaven.

When I woke up this morning to the news that he had died I was crushed, as I’m sure many people were. But Nelson Mandela’s legacy is not one of grief; it is one to be celebrated. I am honored to have grown up in a household of people who helped to expose me to such a righteous human being, his ideals, beliefs and passions. I realized just how lucky I was. Whether intentional or not, Mandela impacted the way I treat others and the way I treat myself. He helped shape me into someone who is forgiving, fiercely independent, unwaveringly loyal, tolerant and someone who is unwilling to stand for injustice of any kind. His speeches and quotes floated around in my subconscious and inspired me to expect more from myself in both my darkest hours and my greatest victories. We shared the same favorite poem, one which I have tattooed to my ribcage, close to my heartbeat. I promised myself I would meet him one day and when I did I would thank him for everything he ever taught me. I never got that chance. For every great teacher there is a student who may not realize just how much they have learned until that teacher is gone. He was an absolute legend of a man, but as I’ve been told….legends never die! RIP Madiba.

Thanks Korea! 6 Reasons You're Pretty Baller!

After living in Korea for a while, there are definitely things I take for granted. So I thought I should take a moment to say, Thank you, Asia! You're pretty badass.

1. The extremely affordable and delicious local food. If I really wanted I could comfortably eat out every night here and spend just as much as I do on groceries for the whole month, without the risk of wasting that food. There are so many incredibly cheap soup, chicken and BBQ places in Korea that I really forget about when I'm spending 2 to 3 times the amount on Western food. Anyone who has ever followed my blog knows I have a massive obsession with 감자탕! 

2. Bubble Tea. Seriously, if you don't like bubble tea you are insane. It's everywhere I go and most recently I have developed an obsession with the Taro kind (a type of potato). Strange I know, but it is just one small thing that always makes my days better. Hard to be unhappy when you're sucking tapioca balls through a massive plastic straw....

3. The easy vacations. Now obviously this does not apply to everyone, but I am incredibly fortunate to be in a position where I don't work on  Saturdays and have plenty of vacation time. I can easily scoot off to Japan or Hong Kong and even most recently the Philippines for the weekend. Asia is quite easy to get around.

4. Ondols! My heating is so cheap and seriously, Korea you are genius. Underfloor heating is the best thing that happened to me since I decided to stop wearing leopard print flares and butterfly hair clips!

5. The amount of National holidays, crazy holidays and just general days off of work. I really don't mind going to work, in fact, I completely love my job but the extra days are nice. There are a plethora of National holidays during the year as well as school anniversaries, exams and random dates where I just don't have to come into work. I love waking up, mildly panicked, only to sink back comfortably into my fleece blanket and watch another 3 hours of American Horror Story because SURPRISE- No work!

6. The Beauty Products. Now, I'm not sure if this is really a good thing or a bad thing. I've never been the most feminine of women and I certainly don't know much about make-up, face products etc..but I know that If I have a problem, Korea has a solution. Red face- bee venom serum, pore creams, toners, under eye cream things I cannot even pronounce, but work perfectly all the same.

Beer Toner Mask

Maggie Moo Does Meme Monday

When I set up an elaborate game for my students and one of them cheats....


When I asked my smartest student what his hobby was outside of studying...


What I think my day off will be like.....


What my day off is actually like.....


When my colleagues eat all of the treats on special food day....


explaining to my co-teacher how classes run when she isn't there....


Getting out of bed for work on a Monday after a weekend with my Seoul Sisters rugby team....


When it's squid day at school and my co-teachers are laughing at me

Where Will Maggie Moo Be in the Fall?

Decision Time!

It's that time of year again where Maggie Moo must weigh her options! What to do? Do I stay in Korea for another year? Do I move on some where else? What are the pros and cons?

Korea:

• I've had a great time in Korea for far
• I've had a positive experience working at my school
• I love Korean food
• I have developed a firm base here
• I love my rugby team

Cons

• I would really like to work at a different school level: Uni, Highschool etc.
• While saving money here should be easy, I pretty much live like a baller! So easy to spend!
• I wish I got to play rugby more often
• Being paid a bit more somewhere that would acknowledge my Masters degree would be nice!

Middle East:

• Pay is great!
• Capacity to save much more
• Pretty much a ton of the food I grew up eating and love!
• There is rugby!

Cons

• Quite a bit less freedom in my daily life/interactions
• Much more covering than I would have to wear in most places (although be fair Korea I remain pretty covered)
• HOT! SO SO HOT!
• Playing in super hot weather sucks!

Hong Kong

• One of my favorite places in the world!
• Better pay
• regular rugby
• and delicious, delicious Dim Sum, plus close proximity to Macau, another one of my faves!

Cons

• Expensive
• Smaller housing
• A bit more crowded than I'm used to
• Would I actually save any money?

America......yeah.....not ready to go there yet! I've toyed around with the idea of Taiwan and I have a unique opportunity to do some work in American Samoa, so this shall be an interesting process! Thoughts? Opinions? Constructive Criticism?

Things Maggie Moo Has Been Doing Instead of Blogging

1. Reading deliciously sappy New Zealand Rugby Romance

2. Consistently worrying about whether she will be re-injured at every Jiu Jitsu class

3.Googling trips she cant afford

4. Buying flights she cant afford

5.Planning how to successfully chat up Ma'a Nonu without sounding like a stalker or a freak

6. Finally changing the lights in her apartment that have been blown out for 3 weeks

7. Watching "The Only Way if Essex," "Made in Chelsea" and other TV shows about rich kids who drink too much, sleep with everyone and wear too little clothing.

8. Finding out about the 10000000 possible illnesses she could be dying from!

In short....Sorry I have been so horrible at updating recently!! I promise I will stop being lazy soon!