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| Me and my nose have a complicated relationship |
I first met "Candy" while rushing out of exit 6 in Gangnam. "Stop" she said, gently taking me by the wrist. "your nose is perfect.Can I take a picture?" Confused, I smiled, let her tilt my chin and then turn me sideways for a profile shot. "You have Malibu nose, this is the one I want my doctor to make me" I was shocked, but mainly because I have always had a complicated relationship with my nose. Being mixed, people would say It's not very black, or it's not very white. I got used to my nose being the defining feature that made me feel like "the other." So to hear someone say "I want that nose" really took me by surprise.
Before I arrived in Seoul, I had heard about the plastic surgery "craze." I was one of those people who would personally never have surgery myself, but didn't mind if others did, who was I to say what they did with their bodies. I never really cared, until I met "Candy." I thought she was beautiful, her eyes sparkled and immediately put me at ease. Her nature was happy, her aura was positive and I couldn't understand why she would even consider having surgery done. We exchanged numbers and discussed a possible language partnership.
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| straight on |
One night, while stumbling around in Gangnam I heard "Hey Malibu" and was immediately surrounded by a group of very tall, stunning, Korean women, each one seemed a little more striking than the next, but they also looked a bit "off." Candy came forward, gave me a hug and introduced me to her friends. She proudly pointed out each ones nose, where they had it done and proceeded to tell me hers would be the best of all, because it would be the same as mine. While I was slightly flattered, the idea of someone running around with something that "belonged to me" was a bit strange.We took a photo together and I asked her "if I was to have plastic surgery done. What would they say I needed to change?" She smiled for a minute and said "nothing, you're perfect. Big eyes, slender nose, good cheeks, full lip." I said "that's just my face, what about the rest of me. I'm curious." She shook her head and after a few minutes of prodding said "well maybe they would do some liposuction, but you play rugby,you don't need it.I can give you my doctors number." I didn't see Candy again for months.
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| profile |
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| angle |
And just like that, my investigative journey started. I set up a consultation. I was asked to submit a photograph online: my face straight on, 45 degrees and profile, as well as a body shot and "any other problem zones." I questioned whether I was truly mentally strong enough to deal with the prospect of a total stranger telling me all of the things that were wrong with me,
Within a day I had a response.
"Good morning Maggie,
Thank you for submitting your profile to _________ cosmetic surgery. We have reviewed your photos and requests and below you will find a list of suggestions from one of our top surgeons.
Beta hydroxy acid treatment
Dermabrasion
Hyperpigmentation treatment
Lipoplasty
Blepharoplasty
Consultation is 100% free and we would love to set up a time to further discuss the pricing/options for your surgery.
A better you is just around the corner"
After a quick phone consultation, I headed in for my free in-office meeting. I pepped myself up before walking into the office, telling myself that I was here to find out "what was wrong with me." This was just for a piece I wanted to write and I wouldn't take it heart. I am not entirely convinced that I truly believed that.
The doctor was incredibly handsome, but I didn't see a hint of cosmetic surgery on his surprisingly tanned and even face (maybe a testament to how good he is). He welcomed me in, offered me tea and water and quickly got down to business. He said my body was okay as is, my breasts were high and desirable and my body was curvy. He said liposuction would serve well to highlight my curves and remove the access fat that was keeping me from "reaching my full potential." He offered to put me in contact with their nutritionist. I told him I was happy with my size and inquired about the rest.He said my eye shape was beautiful but blepharoplasty or (under-eye surgery) would remove the "tired look" and the Beta, dermabrasion and hyper pigmentation treatments would overall give me a "fresh and young look." I asked what was wrong with my skin and he said it was remarkably clear and fairly even already, but a combination of these treatments would make my skin bright and "lighter" over all. There was the key word I was looking for, "lighter."
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| Blespharoplasty lines (under eye surgery) and a skin whitening treatment |
As I looked through the surgical books I saw shining examples of Western women, all white, all blonde and all natural. The guidebooks didn't contain any "exotic beauties" as the doctor liked to say, because the standard was that of a Western white person. He immediately began to backtrack saying I was a very exotic and beautiful woman and he wished more Korean women looked like me. I told him I had taken no offense and I thought Korean women should look exactly how they do now, beautiful & natural. He said he agreed that Asian women were beautiful on their own, but that cosmetic surgery would simply highlight that natural beauty. I laughed in his face. If eyelid surgery and a nose surgery are "highlighting" your look, then breast implants are merely wearing a push up bra. What bothered me the most was not the actual surgery, but rather his full admittance that the reason was to look more "white." I thanked him for his time and made my way out of the clinic. I was shaking. I'm not sure whether it was anger or confusion or maybe just a hint of disappointment with myself for momentarily questioning "what would make me beautiful?"
For a culture that is so proud of it's history and it's people, the irony is not lost on me. I have often heard "one blood, one people" or "Korean pride" and our "Korean women as the most beautiful in the world." I completely agree that Korean women are stunning, so why the surgery? Why the need to change your eyes and your nose? Dress it up anyway you like, call it an "improvement" but it is a distinct and very sad reminder that Korean culture is being highly white washed. Just this year there was a controversy about the miss Korea contestants. Does anyone see the issue with a group of women representing cultural beauty, through surgery that makes them practically culturally unidentifiable? If young girls are told that beauty comes from knife we are creating a hazard for our future women. It's all fine and well to say "whats on the inside is what counts" and "beauty is only skin deep" but we are very far from actually believing this as a culture. The truth is, as humans, we want to feel desired, we want to feel sexy and beautiful and unfortunately we are going to dangerous means to achieve that.
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| Miss Korea 2013 Contests: garnered attention for the extent of cosmetic surgery on each woman |
Yesterday, I read an
article about a young woman in Korea who committed suicide, last August, shortly after having a jawline thinning surgery. This surgery left her unable to properly eat, cry, or feel when her own drool was running down her face. This dangerous surgery is used to correct dental deformities and is now being marketed as a "beautifying" technique. If you've ever been inside a subway station and seen the plastic surgery photos unabashedly posted with slogans like "new life" and "beauty is everything," you might start to understand the mindset. Actually, the second you set foot in Gangnam, Apgujeong or Sinsadong you will see just how much plastic surgery there is.Figures released by the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) state that 1 in 5 women in Seoul have undergone plastic surgery. 20 % between the ages of 19 to 49, have admitted to surgeries that make them appear more "Western."
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| Advert in Apgujeong Station |
It is easy to blame the ever booming business of K-Pop for such surgeries, but that would be too simple. It is no secret that many artists have undergone the knife. I was shocked the other day to find that most of my female students 12-15 desire to have surgery and a few have even had operations already. Standards of beauty are very high in Korea and many women grow up from a young age being constantly told what their "flaws" are.Another trait of Korean culture is their directness. If you look "fat" you will be told, if you are too dark or too freckly or your skin is not even, you will be told. This is seen as a way of showing you care for your friends and their appearance. Westerners who visit are often shocked to be told they should "diet" or "whiten their teeth & skin." I have one student who has recently gone to high school she listed her proudest moment as the first time her mother told her she was beautiful. Upon asking her when this was, she said "when I had my double eye surgery and I was finally pretty." That was heartbreaking.
I wasn't even going to write this entry, on the off chance that I might really offend someone. But just two days ago I bumped into Candy again, only this time I didn't recognize her. I was hurrying in the rain, getting lost in the crowd of the hundred other busy people, when I passed by a woman, no more remarkable than anyone else I had ever seen before. I would have missed her entirely had she not said "hey Malibu." She was a mere shadow of the exuberant, bright spirited woman I had met before. "I had surgery, do you like?" she asked. I didn't know what to say. She had expected a much bigger reaction from me and let a small frown pass her lips, but quickly perked back up. I saw some resemblance of my nose. She was a different woman, but she looked the same as every other woman I had ever seen, who had surgery in Korea. Her eyes still sparkled a bit which led me to believe she was happy, but I'm not sure that I believed it.
